Guilty – Even When Not Guilty


photo of a toast
Photo by on

“If six men went out for dinner tonight, would they be going through and going on about the menu looking for something that is healthy, low calorie, non fat?” I asked barely containing my impatience.

I was feeling annoyed because the act of eating, enjoying wine or cool water and dining with other women should be joyful, pleasant – anything but a time to end up feeling awash with consumption guilt.

I craved glass clinking and the appreciation of not having to cook, no dishes and yes, some hearty pub fare.

What really made me uncomfortable was my internal justification that started with – I did a circuit class today, I cleaned house, washed and folded two loads, went to the main street to buy and pay things, tutored at school and still took the dog to the park.  I missed lunch – had a large coffee instead.  So, I can have a glass of wine.  It should not matter what I order.  I don’t have to feel guilty.

Balance – my goal.  Where are the role models, not the ‘models’?

Luckily, I have a really good one – even if she happens to be half way round the world!

We always had fun.  We laughed and goofed whether working out at Mikki’s fabulous torture sessions, volunteering at the family centre, co-hosting functions, or shopping for ingredients to cook up fabulous, fresh and beautiful food.  We enjoyed wine together on our balconies, even dressed as witches for halloween.

I have never met a fitter woman who loved her exercise, enjoyed great food and appreciated delicious red wine, chilled gin and tonics and other Canadian beverages that had us all singing into the wee hours in my kitchen.  There is actual footage of this!


She not only personifies beauty, grace and enduring elegance – my friend and neighbour at MAC Dill AFB, Katrin – is a women with a zest for life!  Whether slamming it at the gym (she is one mighty fit mamma all right), tucking into our tailgate party feast or partying at St Petes – she lives balance.  So it can be done.  I’ve seen it.

Just have to remind myself!


reflection of trees on water
Photo by Quang Nguyen Vinh on


















2 thoughts on “Guilty – Even When Not Guilty

  1. I always have a get together Saturday with my pals and the first thing we say to each other is, how is your fat calorie? Eating veggie? I think if you trimmed your beard it would make your nose smaller……..women! Jeeeesus, still love ya, can´t live with you nor without you. If you don’t mind I´ll do what I have coined “my cool stalker moves” and stick around, you’ll give me ideas to write about from time to time. Like all the other people I follow. I´ll be picking your brain for me to gain 😉
    Interesting blog.


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